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Post by harringtonlova on Feb 2, 2006 17:48:34 GMT -5
you got a good joke to tell? put it here and others will rate it: 1 2 3 4 5. 5 is the best you can get. omg i sounded like my english teacher at the beginning lol! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  have fun! |
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Post by harringtonlova on Feb 2, 2006 17:52:58 GMT -5
i'll start.
ok there is this blind man driving down the road and he drives by a fish factories(where they kill fish).He sticks his head out the window and says, "Hello ladies."
I made that up. ;D
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Post by Renee' on Feb 3, 2006 14:55:26 GMT -5
I had to move it in the right category.  |
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Post by pinkitwinkie on Feb 4, 2006 17:46:43 GMT -5
The husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was getting into bed,when his wife complained,as usual, "I have a headache" "Perfect",her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my d**k with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,it's up to you." well it made me chuckle..............  |
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Post by Renee' on Feb 5, 2006 11:50:18 GMT -5
her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my d**k with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,it's up to you." OMG LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D That's funny. It kind a reminds me of that one line. When you ask a guy whats his nationality and he tells you. Then he ask if you are the same and if you say no, he would say well would you like some in you. |
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Post by pinkitwinkie on Feb 5, 2006 16:11:38 GMT -5
OMG i know what you mean,that is such a corny thing for them to say as well! ;D
got another one............
A little girl is in line to see Santa.
When its her turn,she climbs on Santa's lap
Santa asks"What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"
The little girl replies,"I want a Barbie and Action Man"
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says,"I thought Barbie comes with Ken?"
"No"said the little girl,"she comes with Action Man,she fakes it with Ken."
This is obviously a very silly joke but i liked it!!!!!!!!
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Post by Renee' on Feb 5, 2006 20:55:17 GMT -5
OMG i know what you mean,that is such a corny thing for them to say as well! ;D got another one............ A little girl is in line to see Santa. When its her turn,she climbs on Santa's lap Santa asks"What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies,"I want a Barbie and Action Man" Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says,"I thought Barbie comes with Ken?" "No"said the little girl,"she comes with Action Man,she fakes it with Ken." LMAO!!! Hey now, I say that line sometimes just in reverse. ;D ;D ;D LMAO! Good one |
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Post by pinkitwinkie on Feb 6, 2006 16:33:26 GMT -5
what,you say would you like a bit of italian?
haha,classy ;D
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Post by Renee' on Feb 6, 2006 18:02:22 GMT -5
what,you say would you like a bit of italian? haha,classy ;D LOL, Of course ;D ;D  |
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Post by pinkitwinkie on Feb 12, 2006 16:48:11 GMT -5
the other day i phoned my local pizza delivery place and asked for a thin and crusty supreme
they sent me Diana Ross
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Post by Renee' on Feb 14, 2006 21:04:20 GMT -5
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was the most
evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the
instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down
the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ........... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by harringtonlova on Jul 16, 2006 23:46:23 GMT -5
i love the last one ;D its sooooooooo funny ;D rotfl
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Post by harringtonlova on Jul 17, 2006 0:00:27 GMT -5
Last weekend me and my dad had went fishing on Lake Seminole in GA.well,while we were on the water i told my dad that i had to use the bathroom. so we drove the boat back to the deck and my dad told me that he would wait by the boat. as i was running up there, i had my legs crossed and i was jumping up and down.I ran into a woman on the way and she asked me"Do u have to use the bathroom?" I said "No we just caught over 100 fish and this is my happy dance."
I swear i wanted to give her a stupid sign! ;D
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Post by andrewinwillmar on Oct 20, 2006 17:45:48 GMT -5
Why did the chicken cross the road? cause it was allergect to milk. ;D ;D
Why did Desi cross the road? cause he was being chased by a FRIGGIN SMINK!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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have fun!
