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Post by HFP on Oct 19, 2005 4:04:06 GMT -5
OK ladies i am so sorry but i gotta vent!!!!! so this a-hole of an ex husband of mine has just decieded after 3 years of no contact what so ever with Summer & no b-day/crimbo pressies/cards, no calls to see how she is doing that he wants f**king joint custody!!! WTF is that all about? i am well pissed off, so i am gonna go see my lawyer & take him to court for sole custody plus an order to change her surname! it aint f**king on,  i am so stressed over the whole thing that its not even funny, i havent eaten or slept in the past 4 days coz of this, he knows this is the only way he can piss me off, & i know no judge will ever grant him joint custody coz he has shown no interest at all, but it is still really getting to me! plus he has halfed the amount of child support he is meant to pay her aswell! that started when he married his sl*t of a mistress, which was only 3 days after our divorce came through! now i am sorry but you can not sort a wedding out in 3 days, espically when you get married abroad aswell!!! he has really pissed me off!!!!! to make matters worse a 'friend' of mine called to see how i was doing last night, now i have always been there to support her, i was in bloody floods of tears down the phone to her, she listened to me for all of a minute then as usual the rest of the convo was all about her & how she just got engaged! big f**king whoopy doo i say, she has only known the guy a month & he is the biggest wanker out! we meet him on a night out & he had a wedding ring on then, yet claims he isnt married! yeah right, i am fed up of picking up her pieces of life for her, so when this one goes belly up, which it will, i aint gonna be there for her, she has a huge bloke crisis every 2 months, i am fed up with being so bloody nice to people only to get sh*t on in return!!!!! OK i think i am done!!!  |
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Post by @#!!%$ on Oct 19, 2005 5:58:51 GMT -5
Awe, I'm sorry girl! Custody battles can get down right nasty. I hope all goes well. I'm not sure how it works in England but how can he half the amount of Child support? Is he court ordered to pay? If so (i know over here) you have to pay in full or the court is going to have his ass. Plus if you get a good judge they'll look at the fact he didn't want anything to do with her and question what is behind this reasoning of wanting joint custody.
So far the only thin I see that he has going for him is that he's married and court like to see and mother and father figure in the childs life but all and all I don't think you have anything to worry with.
Keep us posted on hope it's going! Best wishes!!!
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Post by Renee' on Oct 19, 2005 9:52:22 GMT -5
I am so sorry Hun. I know it's tough for you. My friend is going through that sh*t also with her ex.
I hope things work out for you just hang in there and don't let it get to you or else it would just tare you apart.
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Post by pinkitwinkie on Oct 19, 2005 15:02:59 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear things are going tits up at the mom,
he sounds like a real wanker,i mean how can he not see his beautiful daughter,she is such a button.
I'm sure the court will see him for what he is,what about the CSA,have they got involved with his support yet,i thought if he got married,his new spouse also had to contribute,thats what happened to a mate of mine.
Good luck babes and take care of YOU!
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Post by HFP on Oct 20, 2005 4:18:15 GMT -5
The CSA wont touch him coz he's American!!! he is court ordered to pay the money as its part of our divorce agreement!!! no judge is gonna give him joint custody anyway coz of his job, i mean when he moves back to the states next year is he gonna fly out every other weekend just to have her!!! hell no, he doesnt bother when he is 50 miles down the road so he wont be bothering when he is 4000 miles away!!! such a prick, but its his lose, he mum is ready to cut his balls off for the way he has been behaving!!
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Post by Renee' on Oct 20, 2005 9:39:30 GMT -5
Well, also keep record write down dates and times of all the sh*t he does. That would help you out if you do go to court and if you get a lawyer.
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Post by @#!!%$ on Oct 20, 2005 17:13:16 GMT -5
No doubt!
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Post by HFP on Oct 21, 2005 4:27:54 GMT -5
oh i will dont worry i already printed off the email he sent the other day & got all my bank statements for her, i started off being nice when we split up, did'nt even ask for a thing in the divorce coz i just wanted shot of him, but i'll tell you, the gloves have well & truly come off now!! i feel better today about the whole thing anyway i know he will never get joint custody but it makes me so mad that after 3 years he thinks he has a right!! i just need to stay calm next thursday when i see my lawyer thats all!!! Well, also keep record write down dates and times of all the sh*t he does. That would help you out if you do go to court and if you get a lawyer. |
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Post by Renee' on Oct 21, 2005 9:19:09 GMT -5
Good for you.  There is one thing though that I need say. Even though he is just appearing, you have to set aside how you two feel about each other and think about the child. He is still her dad and if all of a sudden wants her in his life you should at least let him see her or be in contact with her so she could have her dad. Plus don't let it be where you are trying not to let her see or have contact with him just to get back at him. I'm not saying for him to get joint custody or anything. I've just seen to many times where parent's don't let the child see the other parent just because of the parents disputes. I always felt the only way of not for the child to be or see the other parent is if they have molested or abusive and just plain destructive to themselves or anyone else. I hope you know where I'm getting at and don't get the wrong idea of what I'm trying to say. I know we all don't know the whole story and it's fine. Just let you know that we care and we are here for you two. |
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Post by deathbride on Oct 21, 2005 21:17:33 GMT -5
Aww, I am so sorry... Hopefully, everything will turn out for the best.
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Post by HFP on Oct 26, 2005 2:35:01 GMT -5
i know exactly what you are saying, dont worry, the only reason he wants to see her is coz i ripped him apart about cutting the money for her in half, he has no interest at all, i havent even heard from him since!!! Summer was talking to my mum the other day about familys & she said "my grampy is mummy's daddy" the mum asked her who uncle jai was & she said " cousin Jecca's daddy, but i dont see my daddy, where did Richard go" as in my ex Richard & not her sperm donor, so even if yiu try telling her she just doesnt get it, she thinks Richard is her dad! Good for you. There is one thing though that I need say. Even though he is just appearing, you have to set aside how you two feel about each other and think about the child. He is still her dad and if all of a sudden wants her in his life you should at least let him see her or be in contact with her so she could have her dad. Plus don't let it be where you are trying not to let her see or have contact with him just to get back at him. I'm not saying for him to get joint custody or anything. I've just seen to many times where parent's don't let the child see the other parent just because of the parents disputes. I always felt the only way of not for the child to be or see the other parent is if they have molested or abusive and just plain destructive to themselves or anyone else. I hope you know where I'm getting at and don't get the wrong idea of what I'm trying to say. I know we all don't know the whole story and it's fine. Just let you know that we care and we are here for you two. |
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Post by Renee' on Oct 26, 2005 9:28:00 GMT -5
Ok, That is actually sooo sad  Some guys man but then again I also known some women like that where the guy is on the other side. People... I hate that when they don't think about what their doing to the kid and only thinking about themselves. Just pisses me off. |
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Post by HFP on Nov 7, 2005 4:24:24 GMT -5
well, it was mainly 90% good news from my lawyer, she said the only thing that make take time is sorting the money out but coz of his job we have at least 5 different ways to get it, when you usually only have 2 ways!! so thats a plus!
but do you think i have heard from hom in the past 3/4 weeks this has been going on!!! heck no, so that goes to show how much Summer really means to him, he was just trying to get to me!!
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Post by Renee' on Nov 7, 2005 9:51:19 GMT -5
heck no, so that goes to show how much Summer really means to him, he was just trying to get to me!! That's what my friend Patti is going through, the same thing with her ex. Except for he would talk crap about her and tell lies about her to her kids. Then go and say oh isn't your mom so beautiful. We noticed when he is nice to her he just wants to get laid. He is just a f**king piece of sh*t. I am so sorry your going through this hun, just hang in there and everything will go through at the end if you just be strong about it. |
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Post by HFP on Nov 9, 2005 3:40:15 GMT -5
i have totally forgotton about the whole thing now, its not worth my time or energy thinking about it! I have become a much stronger person over recent months when it comes to dealing with other people in my life, i finally got fed up of being taken for granted by most people around me!! took me 27 years, but hey i got there in the end!!!haha
I'm so sorry Patty is going through that, at least i haven't got that going on too!
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Some guys man but then again I also known some women like that where the guy is on the other side. People... I hate that when they don't think about what their doing to the kid and only thinking about themselves. Just pisses me off.